"That's Not Food!"

There seems to be a bit of confusion as to Alexander's name.  Lately, we've been having the same serious conversation with this kid over and over again, and, without fail, it goes like this. "What's your name?" "Andy!" "No, your name is Alex.  What's your name?" "Andy!" "No, that's not right.  What's your name, Alex?" "ANDY!" "NO!  Is your name Alex?" "Yeah... Andy!" Like most things, I'd probably just ignore this incorrectly answered question and move on to asking other, more pertinent ones ("Where is the remote control?"  "Why does your FACE smell like PEE?"  "Do you have any blurred vision after falling on your head for the eighth time this week?"  "Did your or did you not lick that ice cube and then put it BACK in my drink?").  But the thing is, Alex is starting two year old preschool in a week, and I fear that his struggles ...

The other night, when Chris had plans, I decided to let Andy and Alex stay up late.  I called it a "sleepover" and really hyped up the opportunity that I was presenting to them: a chance to come downstairs after bath time and watch a movie with Mommy instead of going to sleep.  They would be up past sundown for the first time since daylight savings began!  And yet they would probably still end up in their beds by the time other kids normally went down, as I know that my strict bedtime of seven-fifteen is probably, especially for Andy, a little ridiculous. But who are you to judge until you've spent all day with these hyper little monsters. I would, however, totally let Andy stay up later every night if not for the fact that Alex won't go to sleep without him.  And so, as history does dictate, the little, more annoying sibling ruins it once again for the older one.  Sorry, Andy.  I can't have that cannonball of a toddler bouncing around the house past seven ...

As Andy was to buses at this young age , Alex is to airplanes.  He's obsessed with them, calling out "Airplane!" gleefully during car rides when one is spotted.  He commands that I perform Google image searches of "airplane," and one of his first two word linked phrases was a stunned "yellow airplane?" when he spied one on page 15 of said Google image search.  He brings me a pen and paper to draw him pictures of airplanes, and when he saw the Caillou episode when they take their first airplane ride together, he crapped his pants.  The poop may or may not have already been in his pants before the episode started, but that's beside the point. His fixation on airplanes has lately taken an interesting turn.  Now, when things go missing, he blames airplanes.  Hat Teddy's hat has disappeared, and when I ask Alex where the hat is, he shrugs, points upward, and then says, "Airplane." "Oh, the airplane took Hat Teddy's hat?...

Andy and Alex know that I existed before they did.  They (or at least Andy) is clear on that much.  I have told them the stories of how they were born.  Mommy had a baby in her belly, and one day she went to the hospital, and the doctor took the baby out.  The baby cried and cried until Mommy got to hold the baby. Then the baby stopped crying, and Mommy looked down and said, "I love this baby soo much! I'm going to name this baby Andy/Alex."   A couple times, Andy has asked, "But how did the doctor get the baby out?"  To which I smartly replied, "I don't know, Andy.  You'll have to ask a doctor." I anticipate more questions about my pre-parenthood life as the kids grow up. Just for fun, here are some answers that I've decided to pre-record. How did you and Daddy meet? Well, Andy and Alex, when a girl reaches the ripe old age of 22 and starts to get worried about her declining youth and fertility, she finds herself turning to the solac...