"That's Not Food!"

This Thanksgiving, we had one more little thing to be thankful for. "Was this an accident?" my blunt little sister asked me ten minutes after I had taken the pregnancy test and called her on the phone.  I called her first because we had just been talking; she had been asking me about stage two and stage three foods for her little peanut while I had been staring at the tests in the drugstore and contemplating just skipping the whole thing in favor of going to the dollar store the next day and buying one there.  Eight dollars for a pregnancy test?  Fifteen dollars for two?  Why would I pay this much when I can already feel the results in the pit of my stomach and the side of my boob?  Sure, the dollar store tests are a little more labor intensive- you have to find a cup to pee in and a little pipette to dispense the urine onto the test strip portion of the flimsy device- but the extra work is definitely worth the seven dollar savings.  Ah, screw it. ...

This morning, I had parent teacher conferences at ye olde preschool.  Alex was first, and a couple of words immediately caught my eye when I sat down and glanced at her written summary.  "Excessive drool?"  I thought quizzically.  "Is that really a standard measurement of preschool intelligence?" This is an excessively wet, sloppy kiss. The excessive drooling (I suppose all the slobber CAN be a bit much at times) is apparently indicative of his still maturing mouth and tongue muscles.  The teacher thinks that Alex may need to be evaluated for his speech, although I have to say I disagree with this assessment.  The kid has come a long way in these past four months, and his constant running commentary has exceeded adorable and gone straight to uncharted levels of annoyance.  He points out everything he sees, brings up topics from days and weeks past, and has started introducing his questions with "Can I ask you a question?" He is ridiculously frien...

If Alex were a pull toy and had a catch phrase, it would definitely be "Stop it."  The kid is always telling me to "Stop it," sometimes when I do something so simple as just to look over at him and smile.  There are a couple things he especially hates, though, number one being when we call him "Big Round Blond Head."  I can barely remember how that one started, although I vaguely recall some early morning in which Andy had climbed into my bed and then Alex had also come in and started bobbing around the room.  There was something perfectly cartoonish about his tow-headed skull bouncing in the early morning sunlight, and I said to Andy, "Look at that big, round blond head go."  Andy thought it was hilarious and started calling Alex Big Round Blond Head pretty much nonstop.  As did I, since the novelty of being directly related to someone with such light hair still hasn't worn off. And so we call Alex "Big Round Blond Head" occasi...

Andy's preschool teacher sent a letter home with all of the parents today stating that his class has a real problem with bathroom breaks- as in every child needs to use the bathroom constantly to the point where it's disruptive.  I know Andy is one of the offenders on this issue because I've had to wait for him at pick-up while he's dawdled in his classroom's bathroom.  At home, Andy spends a lot of time in the bathroom.  One time earlier this summer, Andy was in the bathroom for a very long time. Finally, when he emerged, he announced, "I need some help washing my hands.  I was touching my penis A LOT." Boys. At home, the problem is not so much the going to the bathroom as it is the substantially prolonged period of hand-washing that follows.  Andy can spend twenty minutes just soaping up his hands, making bubbles, talking to himself, and running over fifteen gallons out of the faucet and down the drain.  He completely loses track of time while hand w...

We were watching "Team Umizoomi" today while eating dinner.  I'd read somewhere that watching TV while eating dinner was bad for children because it led to mindless eating; thus, since my children don't eat, it stands to reason that TV watching during dinner might actually be a good thing.  Plus the pediatrician's office has a big poster in it that says "Two Hours of Screen Time A Day!"  Since we're overachievers, we try to keep it in the five to six range. If you don't know what "Team Umizoomi" is, it's a cartoon featuring two miniature, sibling superheroes (Milli and Geo) and their epileptic robot that gets the "crazy shakes" at the end of each episode.  They just love math, and they cruise around Umi City looking for ways to show off their math skills.  I heard Umi City has a pretty big teenage runaway and drug problem, but those social issues are never quite addressed during the allotted twenty-two minutes airtime. ...

Andy, Alex, and I went on a walk after dinner tonight.  This is what our walks look like.  Andy rides ahead on his bike while I call out his name, repeatedly, to use his brakes and stop at corners. The whole neighborhood knows his name.  I keep up a peppy stroll behind him while dragging the wagon, inside which sits a super-chillaxed Alex, all lounging and enjoying the ride.  Alex wears his helmet out of choice, looking a bit odd. It's like he's got cranial issues, which I suppose he does, since he is constantly falling and hitting his cranium. Just today, he got super excited when he saw that I had one of those cheese and breadstick snack packs (the kind where the ratio of golden cheese type product is way off in terms of stale little breadsticks).  He ran wailing towards me to get a taste of breadstick and cheese, went to grab the snack pack, missed completely, stumbled, and then slammed his head into the refrigerator.  What a klutz.  At least it dis...

The boys are enrolled in a preschool at a church, which is quite funny if you remember how I struggled with sending Andy to one specific Christian preschool when he was two.  That one I had a couple of issues with, though, mainly the fact that it operated out of somebody's house and just felt... wrong.  I went with my gut on that one, and after two years of being preschooled at the park district, we switched to a very lovely Lutheran school that we are all quite happy with.  I'm mostly impressed at the level of CONTROL the teachers seem to have over the children.  At the park district, you could always hear a lot of ruckus and yelling coming from the preschool room.  At the church preschool, the children file in politely, know where to find their seat, and begin to quietly work.  I have to imagine that the children are better behaved in part because of the teaching style employed and in part because they all are now living with the absolute fear of God. ...