"That's Not Food!"

I packed up the boys' old clothes last week.  Aside from the infant onesies and sleepers I had given to a friend after my supposed last baby Alex outgrew them, I had everything tossed haphazardly into the boys' closet.  Some stuff was in garbage bags, some stuff was in wine boxes (ahh, wine.... sigh), but most of it was just out and loose, a barely contained hurricane of memories and dried spit up stains. What a task, to organize and then give away a piece of the boys' forensic history.  Every outfit reminded me of some special moment from the past four and a half years. Baby Andy, closing a huge real estate deal. One year old Dragon Alex, winning the hearts of the public. I did not save any outfits for sentimental reasons.  I had to draw a line in the sand; we are packed to the gills in this house.  I only saved items that I could reasonably see dressing my daughter in.  Easy task, right?  Very difficult.  Of course, any newborn ...

The brain looks good.  The heart looks good.  There's the stomach.  Great.  These are all perfectly interesting organs, but I'm not here to look at some fetus' bladder.  I throw out the phrase "some fetus" as if it's not my fetus, the little fetus that's been wiggling and kicking and making itself known in my growing belly.  I'm glad all of these organs are there, of course, and that they all look normal. But there's only one organ that I'm interested in.  There's only one part that I care about.  And this infuriating fetus, with it's perfectly shaped brain and sleepy looking eyes, is being a total asshole and keeping its legs as tightly crossed as fetusly possible. It's getting to the point where I feel like the ultrasound tech is going to tell us we have to come back tomorrow.  She shakes the transducer against my belly.  She makes me lay on my right side, then on my left side.  Chris kicks me near the kidneys for good measure. ...

It's Andy's half birthday today!  Preschool has celebrated his half birthday as they would any normal, non decimal pointed occasion, and I love it.  Having a summer birthday is not ideal.  My own August birthday went by most years with zero fanfare.  When you've been out of school for two months, you don't have a whole classroom of kids to pass out treats to or invite to your basement for an afternoon of Bozo Nancy's Buckets and chocolate cake.  In fact, I can only remember having had one single friend birthday party my entire childhood.  I can't remember who won Bozo Nancy's Buckets, but I cherished that tiny party and still remember it fondly.  My other birthdays?  Not so much. And so I am very sensitive to Andy's July birthday and Alex's late June birthday.  I think it's just plain delightful that preschool honored this day for Andy, and the kid's had a grin on his face all day.  We sent donuts to school!  He got to wear a crow...

Frequently Asked Questions About The Boys' First Time Bowling 1.  Do they even stock bowling shoes that fit a two year old? Yes!  They do!  They're adorable, and the disinfectant to foot odor ratio is quite favorable.  Andy and Alex were thrilled to put on their rental bowling shoes.  Their faces lit up when I presented the special shoes, and it was a glow so much stronger than when they received their Christmas gifts from Santa nine days ago. This is either a commentary on the cheap crap Santa brought or the fact that experience trumps toys.  Either way, bowling requires significant less batteries, so in battle Christmas Vs. Bowling, bowling delivers the knock-out punch. 2.  Who won the game? I did!  Me!  I beat a two year old, a four year old, and my much, much older husband.  I believe my final score was like 89.  And that's WITH the bumpers up.  Imagine how high my score would have been with the bumpers DOWN!  ...