Thursday, May 24, 2012

A Letter To Andy!

Dear Andy,

I think my first real memory is of the day your grandparents brought Aunt Marcia home from the hospital.  I was three and a half, and I remember, quite clearly, peering down at my new baby sister wrapped up in a blanket in her cardboard box.  Grandma and Grandpa F are very frugal and used a cardboard box in lieu of a cradle.  I wish I were joking, but I am not.  So next time you call your mother cheap, just remember:  I have NEVER made you sleep in a cardboard box on the floor.  Ever.  Even though I'm pretty sure you would love it. 

I remember feeling major curiosity about this new baby in the box.  I don't think I realized then and there that Marcia was to be a permanent fixture in the house, kind of like the dog or the refrigerator or those stacks of gossip magazines and expired coupons in the basement that is just *almost* high enough to qualify your grandmother for a starring role in the next episode of "Hoarders" on A&E.  In fact, I'm told that I asked several times in the following weeks after Marcia's arrival when she was going to go "back."  This, I don't remember.  I only remember staring down at her thinking, "WTF, yo?"  I also remember spending what seemed like a very long time at my aunt's house after the new baby was born.  It felt like a month, but I guess it was probably just a long weekend. I don't know, maybe it was just a day.  It's all a haze of sugary snacks, warm milk, and early '80s television.

Your earliest memory will not be of when your baby brother came home.  You are still far too young, and the mind doesn't store memories until at least after the age of three and often closer to four.  It's almost like all of this love and attention we're lavishing on you now is a waste of time.  I suppose it all builds some kind of "memory foundation," but I'm an expert on things like string cheese and returning items without a receipt, not memories... or parenting.  Anyhow, while you will never remember June 2012 when we brought little bro home from the hospital, I'm certain that your first memory will probably involve little bro in some way.  I hope it involves giving him a hug or playing a game with him as opposed to sticking him in the dryer and turning it to "tumble."

This little brother of yours that is to be born in the next month- I don't know if parents ever say, but it seems to me that the little sibling is kind of a tribute to the older sibling.  I want you to know that we're having another baby because we love YOU so much- because you made us love being parents and you were (are) so very special to us that we couldn't imagine not having another little guy and getting to experience all that sleep-deprived, unshowered awesomeness in duplicate.  We are having this baby because we are selfish and want to experience all of this mommy and daddy stuff a second time- and also because we are selfless and want for you to have an automatic playmate.  Childhood gets lonely without siblings, even if siblings can sometimes be a pain in the ass.  And, yes, little siblings are very bothersome at times.  Sharing totally sucks.  Sharing toys is pretty awful, and sharing a room is pretty much the worst.  I'm sorry to say that you'll be sharing a room with your little brother for a while, or at least as long as we live in our current home (which, if you've looked at our mortgage statement opposite the actual value, will probably be for- well, now I'm just getting depressed.).  It could be different for boys- maybe sharing a room won't be so bad.  I freaking hated sharing a room, though, which I did until I was twelve.  And then when I got my own room, I'm pretty sure I only left it when I needed to pee, go to school, or eat food.  And there were a couple times when I may have made other arrangements, such as skipping dinner, calling in sick to school, or severely decreasing my water intake as to avoid the whole disruptive pee thing.

I'm getting off track.

Anyway, your days of being an only child are numbered.  Little brother is on his way, and although I've tried to prepare you for the coming of Baby 2, you're still going to be shocked when all this goes down.  I'm worried about how you will take to seeing mommy in the hospital with a new baby.  I'm scared of how you will react when that baby comes home with us.  I'm stressed out thinking about how you will have to adjust to having the little baby around ALL THE TIME (since, no, he will never go "back.")  My blood pressure is spiking big time just thinking of all this trauma I'm about to introduce into your little life.  But- this is just how it goes.  And after a period of time (hopefully a reasonably short period of time filled with your fair share of sugary snacks, warm milk, and early 2010 television), you will grow to understand the new family change, that you are just as important as ever- in fact more so because you get to be a BIG BROTHER- and you will find yourself in love with your new little best friend/ brother/ occasional pain in the ass/ permanent lifetime addition.  As long as this kid isn't a total prick. I have to warn you, babies are super cute but they sure do cry a lot.  Mostly when it's dark out.

I should also let you know that after this baby is born and all my junk has had a chance to recover, I will be back to my old self a little more.  I will be able to wrestle and run around with you and roughhouse just like we used to.  I'll be able to go down the slide again at the park.  I'll be comfortable putting on a bathing suit and getting in the pool with you.  And since my evenings may end with the occasional glass of wine, story time is bound to be super entertaining.  Although, it really is more your daddy who tends to go off script and insert commentary on your story books.  I'm more of a purist when it comes to reading aloud.  Daddy is just way too critical of plot holes and inconceivable character developments in stories aimed at two year olds, and he's rather vocal in expressing these criticisms.  Just wait until you're old enough to watch movies or listen to popular music with him.  Feel free to tell him to shut his trap.

You won't remember any of this, not for a while.  But I hope that meeting your little brother instills some kind of warm and fuzzy feeling in you that you carry with you until you do start actively storing memories- just as I hope that you are internalizing all of our hugs and kisses and giggles and special times.  You are so very loved, Andy.  And soon the three of us get to share our love with another member of our family.  So that's love we're sharing, along with toys, and also your room.  You are also giving the baby all of your old clothes.  At some point you will share a birthday party with him, too.  Since you'll only be two years apart in school, you may also share friends, teachers, a seat on the bus.  Lots of sharing in your future, Andy.  Yes, some of that sharing will suck.  But for every piece of suckage- I hope that you find twice as much brotherly joy somewhere else. 

Just keep the co-conspiring against your parents to a minimum, okay?

Love you,
Mommy

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