The doctor sketched out the butthole and went on to explain that Alex has an anal fistula, basically a tunnel of nastiness that needs to be scraped and closed so that Alex won't get another inflamed abscess. Andy, clearly listening very closely, approached the surgeon after the drawing and tunnel explanation and stated, "I like tunnels." Later, I had to explain that this was not a tunnel for a choo choo. It was a tunnel for pus. Chugga chugga!
The doctor also went on to draw a penis and proclaim that Alex had a botched circumcision, although we probably had noticed that already. Nope. Didn't notice a thing. I always thought Alex had a fab penis. Go figure. But, anyway, while they put Alex under for the fistula surgery, they could take care of that pesky penis situation. Two for one! Butthole AND penis surgery! WHAT A LUCKY BOY.
After the surgeon left the room, Chris reviewed all of the doctor's drawings and decided to ask him to come back and quickly sketch a pair of boobies, just to round out the dirty drawings and create a trifecta of sorts.
Anyway, Alex needs to have surgery. They are going to put him under, which scares the daylights out of me. The surgeon used the kind of logic that I hate- that Alex has a better chance of perishing due to a car accident or the swallowing of a household marble than he does due to general anesthesia. Well, thanks doctor. But what mother wouldn't worry about having their baby put under? Just to be clear, I am also deathly afraid of car accidents and marbles. So it was nice to be reminded of that.
If we wanted to, we could pass on the surgery now and just keep our fingers crossed that the fistula doesn't blow up into another super big, gross, oozy abscess. But, according to the surgeon, it will. So why not just do the surgery now? Hey, we can make a whole morning out of it. Breakfast for everyone but the baby, a quick trip to the hospital so they can gas him, and then maybe afterwards we can stop for pie and gauze.
We talked about the situation on the drive home, which was super awful due to a snow storm. What should have taken an hour took us close to three. Chris admitted to being so bored of sitting in the mostly unmoving car that he considered rear ending the vehicle in front of us just so we'd have something to do. Hey, let's exchange insurance info! You guys got any snacks? Lovely weather we're having! Want to see some drawings of my kid's butthole and penis?
We agreed that just scheduling the surgery is the most responsible course of action, and so today I called and made the appointment for March 21- Alex's nine month birthday and the first day of spring. That's about three weeks out and the most comfortable time frame I'm willing to deal with. In the mean time, I will continue to monitor the situation for anything more disgusting.
Please keep Alex in your nightly prayers.