I'm Going To Marry You!

I've been proposed to twice in my life.  The first time was by Chris back in 2004 on a day I gave him a glimpse of what life with me would be like.  He begged me to go out to dinner; I whined and complained and told him I wanted to stay home and watch TV.  At the restaurant, he tried to persuade me to get a drink and a pricey appetizer and the most expensive entree on the menu; I believe I told him to leave me alone and go straight to hell.  Still, despite my crabbiness and overall unpleasant demeanor, the engagement ring arrived at our table and Chris proposed marriage and perhaps a dessert of some sort.  I said yes to both.

He's going to make someone
very happy one day.

The second proposal was just a couple weeks ago.  It wasn't as much a proposal as a statement of fact. I was cuddled with the kids on the couch and Andy said, "Mommy, when I grow up, I'm going to marry you."

"Aww," I replied.  "That's nice.  But I'm married to Daddy."

Andy already had a fix to this minor problem.  "I'm going to marry you," he repeated, "And Daddy can marry Alex."

Later, when I was to mention Andy's master plan to Chris, his reply was perfect.  "I don't know- there's going to have to be a lot of progress in the civil rights movement before a man can marry his own son."

I'm not sure if Andy wants to actually be my husband or just further cement his future place in my life.  A few months ago, I made some offhanded comment about how one day he was going to grow up and have his own job, house, and family. Admittedly, this is a lot to burden a small child with; the kid can barely deal with being dropped off at preschool, and suddenly he's imagining having facial hair, living with some strange lady, and having to navigate rush hour in order to get a thankless job that will just barely cover his mortgage payments.  "I am NOT going to grow up!"  Andy yelled back to me after this nightmare scenario sank in.  "I'm not going to get my own life!  I'm going to live with you FOREVER."

"Don't worry, Andy.  You can stay with me forever," I promised.  And believe me, I meant it.

But sometimes I can't help myself from teasing the poor little guy, and later, when we were watching "The Little Mermaid," Andy wanted to know why Ariel was marrying Prince Eric.  "She loves him," I said as we watched Ariel wave good-bye to her father the king.  And then, half smiling to myself like some sort of sadistic jerk, I went on, "And now they're getting married, leaving behind her father, and sailing off to start their own life."

Saying good-bye and off to get their own lives.

Andy's face immediately transformed into what can only be described as a horrified scowl.  "But not me!"  he cried, shaking his head and crossing his arms tightly.  "I'm not going to get my own life, and I'm not going to live with mermaids!"

"Of course not," I replied.  And I've really had to restrain myself from further teasing him on the topic because I think if I bring it up again, the kid is going to have a nervous breakdown.

But I haven't had to bring it up, because Andy's been stewing over it, and he's come to the only logical course of events.  He can still grow up, but he can stay with me forever if we just make it official and get married.  And we can keep living in our house, and I can go ahead and drive him to that thankless job everyday because I already have his car seat installed in my car!  See how perfect our life can be?

Alex and Daddy, though... I wonder how those two will fare once Andy grows up and kicks them to the curb.  I can only hope Alex will be a less crabby spouse than I've been; Chris deserves at least that.