Here's the deal with the Park District egg hunt. You get there, you meander around for twenty minutes wondering what you're supposed to do, and then you shove your child to the front of an increasingly disorderly line simply because you fear your child will not get a single egg. You've seen the bags of available eggs, you've done a rough count of the crowd, and the odds are simply not in your favor. Would there be anything more heartbreaking than getting your kid all fired up about going on an egg hunt only to come home empty handed? Anything sadder than optimistically selecting an egg carrying sack at home and then not being able to stick a single egg in it? I think not.
Alex's age group went first. The Park District people dumped a bunch of plastic eggs out of a couple of garbage bags, very slowly yelled GO, and Alex and I were off. Alex walked forwards, slowly selected two eggs off the ground, and by the time he'd carefully placed them in his egg carrying sack of choice (a Dracula head), the hunt was over. Those sure were ten fun-filled seconds! We walked off, cracked open his eggs, discovered candy even though I'd kind of been hoping for semi-rare gems, and then we waited for Andy's age group to start.
I stressed to Andy, "When they yell 'go,' run and grab as many eggs as you can." If young Alex hadn't gotten any eggs, he'd have been fine. But it would be tragic for Andy, who knew he'd come here specifically to get eggs, not to get his hands on any. Andy nodded stoically, I shoved him forwards a little bit for good measure, and then somebody shouted out to go. Andy moved fast and frantically, his hands trembling when he picked up an egg and tried to shove it into his bag. Uh oh, I thought to myself for a second. I've turned this into a THING. I basically told my son YOU MUST NOT FAIL and now he's a nervous wreck about the whole ordeal. What I should have said was that it's okay if you don't get any eggs, we're here to have fun, not necessarily to get eggs. I can't believe I've become THAT MOM. Wait a minute, is that clown handing out coupons for McDonalds? I MUST GET A MCDONALDS COUPON.
Ten seconds later the "hunt" was over, and Andy emerged from the crowd to show me his bag, which held five eggs. "Great job, Andy!" I cheered, "But remember, it's not whether you win or lose, it's how you... something something."
Andy and Alex had fun. It was a sunny day. We got some candy. I don't know what I was expecting, but it was not as much an egg hunt as it was an egg dump and grab. Either way, the first hunt was a success.
Second Easter Egg Hunt. Location, Our Living Room.
On Saturday night, Chris and I filled eighteen Easter eggs with equal parts stickers, coins, and candy. Chris was thoughtful enough to unroll several rolls of Sweet Tarts and simply dump a dozen pieces of loose candy into a couple of eggs, which is pretty much the most obnoxious way you can fill an Easter Egg. I could see the future of Alex opening some eggs and spilling out twelve little circles of candy onto the carpet, and the future, it was not so bright.
We hid the eggs around the living room, and the next morning, when Alex stumbled across the first egg, Andy excitedly started to run off to the kitchen while yelling, "I'll check over here!" I had to reply, "No, Andy, I don't think the Easter Bunny made it into the kitchen... Daddy sprayed the perimeter of the living room with bunny repellent as to keep him contained. Hey, why don't you come check behind the couch?"
The boys found their eggs, and then we told them that Mommy and Daddy had bought them some Easter gifts. We had decided the eggs are from the bunny, but the boys should know to thank *us* for the actual gifts. I brought in Alex's gift first, which was basically five bucks worth of crap from the dollar store. Then Chris rolled in Andy's gift- a brand new bicycle! I think this may be the last year we can get away with stiffing poor little Alex so badly, although I justify it to myself by saying that one day the bike will belong to Alex, and so it's really like he got five bucks of crap PLUS a brand new bike in two years. So who's the awful parent NOW?
Egg hunt at home was a success. Andy looked like such a big boy riding his new bike. And Alex really seemed to enjoy his new $1 ball.
Third Easter Egg Hunt. Location, Backyard At Aunt and Uncle's House.
After a lovely Easter brunch (um, that's lunch AND BREAKFAST!) at a restaurant much too nice for the likes of Andy and Alex, we headed back to my aunt and uncle's house. After letting the plastic eggs "cool down," my mother hid them for the boys around the back yard. At first, I didn't know what she meant by "cool down" until I later cracked open one of the eggs to find it filled with a chocolate paste of sorts; the unseasonably warm weather had cooked some of the candy inside. Oops! Andy was off by himself finding hidden eggs while I guided Alex around and basically yelled, "Alex! Here's one! Pick this up! Give me your bag! Okay, pick this up! Alex!" Alex and I got four eggs, and Andy got thirty. Or so it seemed. No need to worry about him not getting anything this time!
After the egg hunt, my mother got out the guitar and put on a show in honor of my aunt's birthday, which was just this last week. I have to mention this because as my mother is constantly performing at family parties, this was the first year ever that her show included a segment featuring a backwards hat and RAPPING. And so there was that. Easter egg hunt, big success. Rapping mother, even bigger success. There are just some things you know will never, and can never, forget.
Happy Easter 2014!
Happy Easter 2014!
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