Captain Andy!

Today, Andy found his Perfect Friend.  We were at the park, and I would have gotten Perfect Friend's contact info if not for the fact that her male caregiver seemed kind of skeevy and slightly sex-offenderish.  In fact, when I first saw him sitting on the bench, I immediately assumed he was a pervert and made a mental note to make sure my kids didn't run by him. Mental note:  Pervert on the bench.  Also, get more goat cheese from Aldi.

Captain Andy, sliding into the ocean.

This girl was either his daughter or granddaughter, hard to say.  But she approached Andy with a smile and a just-happy-to-be-here attitude, accepting Andy's matter-of-fact statement.  "I'm the captain of this boat," he told her, gesturing to the playground structure that was acting as his ship.

"Oh, captain!"  the little girl replied.  "Okay!"  She then proceeded to follow Andy around his boat, asking of various playground features, "Captain, what does THIS do?"

"Oh, that's the slide into the ocean," Andy would remark.  Or, "That's the monkey bars across the ocean.  That's the slide into the OTHER SIDE of the ocean."

"Captain, what does this do?"  his friend would ask again and again.

Andy was just tickled pink to explain all of the parts and pieces of his imaginary boat.  While he did this, I couldn't help but notice another, younger girl across the playground.  As I had dressed Andy and Alex in matching Spiderman T-shirts this morning, her pervert-looking male caregiver had also dressed she and her younger sister in matching peach T-shirts, denim shorts, and white socks with black gym shoes.  I had to inwardly applaud him on the black gym shoes.  I hardly ever notice preschool girls in just plain black Chuck Taylor-like sneakers and it seems like a crime against fashion.

The younger peach T-shirt girl started trailing behind her big sister and Captain Andy just as Alex began to join in on the fun.  I followed after them after being invited into the highest part of the ship, which also featured a bench.  Then, as if the planets had suddenly aligned, all four children sat down.  There was the younger peach T-shirted girl (a blonde like Alex), the older peach T-shirt girl (a brunette like Andy), Andy in his Spiderman shirt, and then Alex in his Spiderman shirt.  It was a perfect visage, the kind of photo that you might one day see in a wedding slideshow.  Abruptly, it was as if Andy could read my mind.

"Mommy," he said,  "Don't you want to take a picture of us?"

YES, Andy, I totally wanted to take a picture.  It was picture perfect, you two boys and your perfect girl counterparts.  But of course, I couldn't, as it's the number one cardinal rule of cell phone photography.  Do not take snapshots of other's people's children.  Or grandchildren.  Or whatever relation they are.

The boys and their perfect girl friends played happily for a while longer until I had to break apart the foursome.  We did, after all, have goat cheese to buy at Aldi.

***

One other thing happened at the park today.  I asked a woman when she was due with her baby.  It turned out she was not pregnant.  I was mortified.  I am still flushing bright red just thinking about this moment.  If there's some sort of womanly, motherly code, I totally broke it.  Even the pervert on the bench was shaking his head at me.