Friday, October 10, 2014

Less Than, Greater Than, Equal To!

We were watching "Team Umizoomi" today while eating dinner.  I'd read somewhere that watching TV while eating dinner was bad for children because it led to mindless eating; thus, since my children don't eat, it stands to reason that TV watching during dinner might actually be a good thing.  Plus the pediatrician's office has a big poster in it that says "Two Hours of Screen Time A Day!"  Since we're overachievers, we try to keep it in the five to six range.

If you don't know what "Team Umizoomi" is, it's a cartoon featuring two miniature, sibling superheroes (Milli and Geo) and their epileptic robot that gets the "crazy shakes" at the end of each episode.  They just love math, and they cruise around Umi City looking for ways to show off their math skills.  I heard Umi City has a pretty big teenage runaway and drug problem, but those social issues are never quite addressed during the allotted twenty-two minutes airtime.

Today the gang was trying to unlock a door by putting numbers in order on the lock, and the robot held up the number "3" asking what number it was and where it would fit.  I glanced at Andy who was mindlessly eating (mission accomplished!) to see if he would jump in with the obviously easy answer.  When, lo and behold, Alex (not mindlessly eating, goddammit), spoke up.  "Three!"  Alex cried.  "Three!"  And I turned, surprised, to look at him, as I'd almost forgotten he'd existed for a moment.

"That's very good, Alex!" I gushed.  "That IS a three!"  Could Andy identify numbers at twenty-eight months?  Heck, can MOST kids identify numbers at twenty-eight months and this is something Alex should have been doing earlier this year?  Or am I right to be proud of Alex- Alex, whom I hardly ever, ever address questions to?

His piping up with the correct answer reminded me of something yet again.  I forget to ask Alex as many questions as I ask Andy.  When we're reading books, I ask Andy questions along the way to see if he's understanding the story.  When we're out and about, I ask Andy questions about what we're doing or seeing.  And when it comes to making decisions about where to go, what to eat, what to play, I ask Andy.  Not Alex.  Because Alex is a silly baby who doesn't know any better.

But he does know better.  And he's not a baby.  When Andy was Alex's age, I had mentally promoted him to an older phase in his little life simply because there was a new baby, someone smaller around.  When Andy was Alex's age, we did activities and had conversations suited to him and his growing brain.  But now Alex, at that same age, doesn't get quite the consideration that I gave to his older brother.  Even though he can identify numbers and would probably enjoy answering a question here and there and perhaps making a choice or two.

It'll never be even.  I have to forgive myself for that and be reminded that it goes both ways, though. I've had so much more alone time with Alex than I ever had with Andy, especially since I worked full time the first two years of his life.  I take Alex to do fun things that he might never get to do because I might see it as a waste to do with just him.  Like the gymnastics gym we went to a lot last year.  I probably wouldn't have bothered to take just Alex, because what's a not even two year old going to do there?  But I went because I had an almost four year old who was going to love it, and, wouldn't you know, Alex was basically pommel horsing by himself after the first week or two.  He got more out of it than I would ever expect a toddler to- even though he fell UNDER the trampoline that first week and I had to slither myself beneath a bunch of equipment to pull him out- all whilst basically being smirked at by the staff.  Man, that could have really killed it for all of us then.  It's a good thing I have so little dignity to start with.

So there you have it.  A reminder that Alex exists and has a brain that needs to be nurtured, too.  A reminder to try and be fairer with my attention.  But also the acceptance that each aspect of their lives will never be totally equal.  Besides, there's no way Milli and Geo were treated totally equal by their parents (who I can only believe perished in some crazy mathematical accident), and they both turned out mostly fine.  Joint ownership of a personal robot is a big sign of having made it in Umi City.

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