Nap Time! Quiet Time!

Things That Alex Is Doing At Nap Time

1.  Kicking his bedroom door and calling out for Andy since Andy is the weakest link and most likely to let him out.

2.  Getting naked.

3.  Smearing poop on the curtains and practicing his sorry speech, which shall include the plead of asking that Daddy not throw out his poo poo M&M's.  Mommy gives M&M's out for successful potty poops, pees, and sometimes just for the hell of it.  Daddy throws M&M's straight into the trash if Alex has an accident.  Another instance of what Mommy giveth, Daddy throweth away.

4. Launching self off of top of dresser.

5.  Climbing atop shelves in closet and attempting to do pull-ups on clothing rod.  While naked.  With a couple dingleberries hanging from his hind side.

6.  Systematically emptying every drawer, bin, shelf available as to completely cover the floor in a makeshift toy rug.

7.  Jumping on the bed and then off the bed and hoping that the sound of tremendous crashing will bring someone foolishly running to open his bedroom door, at which time he will slip out like the Naked Dingleberry Ninja, muttering to himself about poo poo M&M's and wanting to sit on the couch with Andy and Mommy, who are trying to enjoy just the tiniest bit of sanity-saving quiet.

8.  Sudoku.

Things That Andy Is Doing During Quiet Time

1.  Double screen time!  Simultaneous iPad and TV, pretty much throwing off every acceptable screen time figure ever posted at the pediatrician's office.

2.  Asking for candy.

3.  Wiggling around like a lunatic until I yell at him to please go to the bathroom, at which point he will say he doesn't have to go to the bathroom, he just likes to wiggle.  Then he will say, "Oops, I need new underwear.  Can you get me new underwear?  I have to poo, too.  There's too much to wipe, come help me.  Are these poo poo M&M's for everyone?"

4.  Endlessly professing his undying love for his mother.

5,  Wanting to do silly names, which is where we call each other as many funny names as we can think of.  Spaghetti Brain.  Booger Mouth.  Poop Face.  Alright, Andy, I am your mother, you shouldn't call me Poop Face.  Let's try to stick to Poop Head, okay?

6.  Positing serious questions about mortality and the aging process exactly one second before whipping down his pants, shaking his butt, and yelling out, "Surprise!"

7.  Opening the door for Alex.  Dammit Andy!  You're not supposed to do that!

8.  Sudoku.